@VerifiedDrunk: Finally nailed my girlfriend and her twin last night You know how I tell them apart? Her brother has a mustache.
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@hotsoccerchic69: my mom walked in when I was printing out a naked picture of a woman in 5th grade& we sat there in silence listening to the loud, 90s printer
@take2skw: I use words like "acquiesce" and "ubiquitous" in daily conversation and then I throw in a "for reals yo" just to stay mysterious.