@michaelianblack: Finally saw the new Batman. SPOILER ALERT: the Bane character is up to no good.
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@bobvulfov: [car dealership] WIFE: let me do the talking, ur a terrible negotiator SALESMAN: u can drive off with this car for 18k ME: we'll double that
@TheAlexNevil: 7 barges into bathroom while I'm showering, laughs & says "I saw your peanut." He either mispronounced a word or made a hurtful observation.
@MrGeorgeWallace: Shout out to the top 5 cakes in the world, crab, pan, pound, urinal and let them eat.