@zachreinert03: finally sold everything that reminded me of my ex. kinda nice, I got $20 for her clothes, $50 for her tv, and $100 for our kid
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@MikalBershawn: *Kanye trips and falls* SUCH A GENIUS! WHAT A POETIC DEMONSTRATION OF HOW HIS ANCESTORS FELL TO SLAVERY AND ROSE AGAIN *jaden smith cries*
@Jesssicle: The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my apartment so that it's not in my way.
@IvoryGazelle: *Abandons ship* *Ship gets adopted* *Tracks down ship in adulthood* *Ship is happy and wants nothing to do with me*
@MikeOdenthal: i hate sex and have no libido but i still date because i love explaining to women why the music they like is bad