@MarkusJ: finally, the ants are going to rise up and claim their rightful place as masters of this wretched planet
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@Sophie2078: If your messages appear as "seen", but there’s no reply, don't worry. He probably fainted from all the excitement.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Everyone preaches body acceptance, until you show up naked at the company picnic.
@Roweboat13G: *boss stops meeting* Mike, is there something you'ld like to share with the whole group? Me: Nooooo, that's why I whispered it to Alan.
@XplodingUnicorn: [church] 1-year-old: *throws a tantrum* Me: This is the worst place for a meltdown. Wife: Nuclear power plants? Me: Second worst place.