@donni: Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best
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@joeljeffrey: A man fought off a polar bear yesterday using only his cell phone... it was probably a blackberry. The bear was so disgusted he just left.
@tonyhawk: girl at restaurant: "Are you Tony Hawk?" me: "Yes." her: "Why?" I had no idea how to answer.
@hiitsgabrielle: Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout.