@rob1792: Financial status: Googling "sell kidney"
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@NewDadNotes: Wife: [1st time watching Harry Potter] wait...if Harry was a baby, both Harry’s parents died & Voldemort disappeared; how does anyone know what happened at the house that night? Me: [watching for the 751st time] ...well shit
@envydatropic: If my dog goes missing I have 3,789,897 current photos. If my kids go missing I have 3 photos from 5 years ago.
@panmidwest: ME: sometimes i just repeat your name instead of laughing HANNAH: that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard ME: hannahannahannahannaha