@TattedChanel: 'Find a guy who ruins your lipstick, not your mascara ' lol mate ruin any part of my makeup nd ur gettin smacked down
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@SharkJelly: *in a fight with Humpty Dumpty* "You don't scare me, I eat eggs like you for breakfast"
@EJGomez: [sees a baby spit up after drinking from baby bottle] "lmao yo who invited the lightweight"
@ColoChiver: My boss told me to dress for the job I want, not the job I have. Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting in a Batman costume.
@noog: Spider: Why don't you like us? Most us are harmless and we kill all the bugs in your house? We just want to help Humans: EW EW EW EW OMG