@jwoodham: Find a way to dress up as "accidentally liking someone's Facebook picture from 2 years ago" and really scare people this Halloween.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Parenthood is where you spend 18 years saying no all because of that one critical time you said yes.
@shopkins776: I was told you have to wait an hour after you finish eating to swim. I didn't know there was such a thing as an hour after you finish eating
@Sassafrantz: 57% of serial killers were bed wetters until an unusually advanced age. Let's make fun of them! What's the worst that could hap..never mind.