@ItsAndyRyan: Now then - what's an oxymoron?
@SequelsWeWant: Ocean's 45:
The group gets bigger each heist
It's too hard to keep secrets
Someone posts the next plan on Facebook
Everyone goes to jail
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Saying Trump can't be an antisemite because his daughter converted to Judaism is like saying he can't be sexist because he married a woman.
@3sunzzz: Me: My son totaled another car.
Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons?
M: yes
P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!
@Shower4Thought: I never realized how short a month is until I started paying rent
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