@ElizaBayne: Find out if the NSA is listening to your call by singing SWEET CAROLINE and if more than one voice responds with bum bum bum THEN YOU KNOW
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@duumb: [high school reunion] me: u remember me skipping math class to see u ex: aww yeah me: [gets out pile of papers] now do my taxes
@ericsshadow: [is being given CPR by my ex girlfriend] "do you know how many heart attacks I had to fake before they sent you."
@BuckyIsotope: AVENGERS ASSEMBLE THOR - "here" HULK - "here" IRON MAN - "here" CAPT. AMERICA - "here" USELESS ARROW GUY - ... I SAID- HAWKEYE- I HEARD YOU
@rutesperanza: If you use yahoo search engine, A really lonely nerd in his yahoo office frantically googles your request and then posts the results