@perrigame: Stop the Internet. I want to get off.

@Rollinintheseat: "Hi, I'm Rob Thomas for the Organ Donor Association. Give me your heart, make it real or else forget about it."

@melibuff: That's shocking!! Hold on. *quickly draws overly arched eyebrows* Ok. Go on.

@TheHyyyype: *aliens come to earth to steal our water* [cut to] *aliens running out of store with like fifteen evian bottles they didn't pay for*

@markleggett: A celebrity died? Better take this opportunity to tell everyone a very personal story about that one time you saw them eating falafel.