@FinallyHeSleeps: Finding $5 you didn't know you had is awesome til you realize you're 34, it's 2011 & $5 won't even buy enough gas to drive you off a cliff.
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@BoogTweets: Her: You're all sweaty. Where have you been? *Flash back to an hour long struggle of me trying to separate 2 shopping carts* Me: The gym.
@1Happytwit: I don't know why they invite me to an Easter egg hunt, then freak out when I turn up in camo gear with my rifle.
@RidiculousSheri: I'm at my most Disney Princess when I fight with my stepfamily before drunkenly losing my shoe at a party.