@FinallyHeSleeps: Finding $5 you didn't know you had is awesome til you realize you're 34, it's 2011 & $5 won't even buy enough gas to drive you off a cliff.
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@TheWadest: Chicks love guys with tattoos cuz it means they're willing to commit to something stupid for the rest of their lives...
@form52: I hate it when restraining orders get in the way of meaningful relationships. Well played future wife. You win this round
@Book_Krazy: * Kindergarten* Hi kids! I'm the homeroom mom for your class. [writes name on chalkboard] [Boy Raises hand] We can't read. No one can read
@andsarah2: I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision.