@thetigersez: Finding a guy to marry who is rich enough to pay off my debt, but not so rich he wants a prenup is, like, so much harder than I anticipated.
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@shawn_spree: I said I wouldn't go drinking in public again, but here I am waiting for my kids to get out of school.
@squirrel74wkgn: Wife: Are you gonna wear that to the cookout? Oh... *reaches under mesh shirt* *takes off nipple ring* Better?
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Airline just told my GF she has too much baggage & they've only known her a couple of minutes.