@Buttija: Finding Nemo. Grilling Nemo. Eating Nemo.
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@QwertyJones3: PILLOW: Hey, your anniversary is today, go buy her some flowers ME: Wow, thank God for memory foam
@SoulYodeler: Optimism? Sure, it's worth a try. I don't see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
@BeTheCookie: At what age do you have THE talk with your daughter about how she is not the princess of anything and she'll need to get a job. Is it 6?
@TheTweetOfGod: Everyone in "Star Wars". Everyone in "The Muppets". Everyone in "Game of Thrones". This is now the first tweet with over 140 characters.