@Scdavis24: Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
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@MarkAgee: If I win Powerball, I'm having at least six of you killed. Four of you know who you are. I think the other two will be very surprised.
@SirEviscerate: *builds time machine* *goes back in time 183 days* *earth is on the other side of the sun* *dies in space*
@daemonic3: Cookies from Best to Worst: 1. Chocolate chip 2. Girl Scout 3. Oreos ... ... 727. Browser 728. Tossed 729. Raisin
@StarWarsProblms: Yoda: A Jedi, you will not be. Train Chewbacca, I will. Luke: But why? Yoda: Better piggyback rides, he gives.