@Scdavis24: Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
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@VodkaShorebird: A good way to help you determine who to weed out of your life is probably by how someone pronounces "coyote".
@OVLH: "He's more scared of you than you are of him" - Girl coaching her friend into talking to me
@TheAlexNevil: "In just 4 years, you can get a 4 year degree!" Yes, "university" commercial--that math checks out.