@ChaseMit: "Fine, I'm sorry, you win, just, please stop crying." - my rap battle opponent
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@bridger_w: If you're behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
@Brampersandon_: [pharmacy] "Can I help you?" Yeah, could you recommend anything over the counter for this? *lifts shirt to reveal 7 fresh gunshot wounds*