@BareChesty: Fingerprints are proof that God doesn't trust us
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@KalvinMacleod: DOG BOSS: Any messages for me? DOG ASSISTANT: just one from Mr. Agoodboy DOG BOSS: who’s Agoodboy? DOG ASSISTANT: *tail starts wagging*
@jordan_stratton: Nice try, horror movies, but the scariest thing I've ever seen is still a 4-year-old holding a sharpie without the cap.
@usedwigs: Keep slugs out of your garden by building a tiny slug-sized amusement park next to it with slow safe rides.