@RollAroundSue: Finished my 2nd glass of wine. Husband doesn't know it yet but he has a 30 second window of getting laid before I pass ou
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@AmishPornStar1: "Awwww, that is so sweet! I think you're outstanding too!" me, to the collection agency
@NickMotown: To back up his "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" theory, Newton should've released one simultaneously saying "no it doesn't"