@oxnuxo: Fire engines are painted red for camouflage, so they can sneak up on fires without being noticed
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@ElgatoEsmio: [holding an acorn] “do you still love me?” Wife yells outside- "that’s not even the same squirrel as yesterday!” "Shaddup you!"
@Ndeshi_M: Him: I'd go to the end of the world for you! Me: Well... what are you waiting for then?
@FrogAvalanche: *leads horse to water* "You're not gonna drink, are you?" *horse neighs* "It's The Fountain of Eternal Youth." Horse: You're not foaling me.