@oxnuxo: Fire engines are painted red for camouflage, so they can sneak up on fires without being noticed
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@SLorenzen62: Laundry is racist!! Must separate the whites from the colors!! No delicates allowed? Oh, whites get HOT water, everyone else gets cold!
@noogscorner: Hendrix didn't need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
@kimlockhartga: Had a little meltdown at work yesterday, so the upside is that everyone will be afraid to talk to me for awhile.
@Darlainky: Dear Santa, Please send gift cards. Your taste has gotten significantly worse in recent years.