@GrowlyGrego: FIRED? But I just started! How could I have known we don't do casual Fridays here? Fine. Direct your own goddamn funeral. *flip-flops away*
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@lilgapeach30: Stepped on an action figure in the shower and simultaneously invented six new cuss words in four different languages.
@badbanana: I'll be celebrating my birthday the traditional way, by barging naked into a room full of strangers and crying.