@dril: fired for "unleashing rats at work" which is bull shit first off because they don't make leashes for rats
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@MdUNH: If you see a white guy in earbuds convulsing angrily with T. Rex arms, don't freak out. I'm just jamming out to Eminem.
@MolotovJohnny: Why does it jump from 2% milk all the way to whole milk? Maybe I just want 47% milk...
@RBColl: FDA should require Starbucks baristas/cashiers to be calorie counters. "Here's change of 50 and that's 1,073 calories of your Venti Frap."
@flashember: DOG: [running in circles trying to catch his own tail] SON OF A DOG'S PREGNANT WIFE: *looks up from knitting* Son of a what, David? Say it