@markleggett: Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying "The court room sketch artist is so hunky."
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@leechee420: Friend asks me to be her maid of honor: M-What do I have to do? F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished.
@vincevangone: I am "knows everything about Aardvarks because Mom bought an encyclopedia," years old.
@filthybeggar1: People who put "Retired" on their Linked In acct: I'm not certain you've grasped the site.