@1Happytwit: Firemen are always really friendly, until they figure out it was you that started the fire.
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@OtherDanOBrien: GUY: Your logic is flawed. According to experts- ME: Excuse me, but I practiced this argument in my head & you're saying the wrong things
@Playing_Dad: Clark Kent: How's your lunch? Bruce Wayne: This soup is great. CK: don't BW: You could even say CK: please don't BW: It's Souper, man
@jwoodham: Instead of pulling people over for texting, the police should be out there pulling people over for not texting me back.
@Ristolable: He died doing what he loved: typing his symptoms into WebMD instead of going to the doctor