@thejessbess: First date: *puts entire onion ring in mouth* If yo'lik et ven yo'shoulla puh a wring owh it.
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@GeorgeBray: Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. We launch a bird into pigs.
@H0TMessBarbie: I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He said I should prolly not go to those places anymore.
@007Rex_Inc: *Running late *Light turns green but car in front wont go *About to honk when reads bumper sticker: honk if you love disco *Is late for work
@Lisa_Laughs_: I know two wrongs don't make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I'm like on 756.