@Ristolable: First date tip: let a photo of a dog fall out of your wallet. When she asks "is that your puppy?" say "No. That's my dad." Then storm off.
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@SadPeruna: Even if you don't pay, they'll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
@Marcmywords2: Pick a number, now add 7, divide by 4, write it down. Now get an apple, name it, show it a picture of your cat. Now go to bed,you're drunk.
@Ristolable: He died doing what he loved: typing his symptoms into WebMD instead of going to the doctor