@Ristolable: First date tip: let a photo of a dog fall out of your wallet. When she asks "is that your puppy?" say "No. That's my dad." Then storm off.
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@causticbob: My wife must be the slowest reader ever. I bought her a Kindle last Christmas and she still hasn't finished it.
@rose24_em: If a guy spread rose petals all over my apartment, I would literally look at him and just be like: "I'm not picking this up."
@iTomFoolery: How soon is it going to be before school spelling tests only requires getting the first three letters correct until google does the rest.