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@iamspacegirl: First date with a hummingbird:
You're moving too fast.
@minakimes: what if eric trump is actually a nigerian prince
@T_Bonezzz_: Cat: Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk... [ *Coughs up hairball* ]
Dog: You gonna eat that?
The number of times you can flip a grilled cheese sandwich before you notice that you have the pan on the wrong burner...cuz of Twitter.
@tarashoe: haha remember when you were a kid you'd hide inside the clothes racks at stores. can't do that as an adult. someone's stupid kid is in there
@joshingstern: I'll bet Vampire Kiddies enjoy scabs as much as human Kids love pudding skin