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@ClichedOut: [first date]
her: i love mysterious guys
me: [in the bushes] good
@Reverend_Scott: [Glass slipper fits on ugly girl with same shoe size as Cinderella]
Prince Charming: Um... well. Tell ya what, I'm gonna keep on looking.
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: It's date night!
Me: So, a movie, and... You still have that school uniform?
W: Yes. *winks*
M: Maybe you can get a student discount.
@DanLaMorte: 21st century kid on Santa's lap-"Yo santa, some more insta followers would be real dope for Christmas. Thanks bruh bruh"
@DurtMcHurtt: My doctor just used a tongue depressor on me so I'm going out for ice cream to cheer the little guy up.
@ojedge: [1st date]
Me: [putting my jacket over my dates shoulders]
Her: "Thank you but I'm not cold"
Me: [covering her awful dress] "Yes you are"