@GrantTanaka: My wife is gone for the next 3 days, so if any ladies out there want to come over & yell at me to take out the garbage & not have sex, hmu

@Cravin4: It was that very moment when we realized our shared love for multipurpose utensils brought us together & that's when the sporks flew.

@Sanbel11: Mirror, mirror on the wall, was the dwarfs' mother high when she named them all?

@JohnnyCrash5: [Interrupts the wedding vows] it's open bar right?

@ronradu: Gave this artichoke the heimlich maneuver and now he's artiokay.