@OBiiieeee: First day as a drug dealer. Made a ton of sales. Boy are people forgetful, they all left their wallets at home.Gonna be rich tomorrow though
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@McSwtrvst: I will raise my son to treat your daughters like spoiled princesses, but only if you don't raise your daughters to think they are. Deal?
@notacroc: Date: Lets break the ice. Polar bear: break th-[shatters Coke bottle] BREAK THE ICE? What are you saying?! D: I mea- PB: THATS MY HOME LINDA
@That_Damn_Duck: Instead of saying you lost your eyesight due to an explosion while you were making meth, just tell people that you were blinded by science.
@NoTheOtherJohn: ATTORNEY: Ladies and gentlemen, how could my client have committed murder WHEN IT'S AGAINST THE LAW [whispering throughout courtroom]