@ThisOneSayz: First grade math makes no sense. I mean, who really buys 34 oranges and 21 apples in one day?!
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@runawaycupcake: Pretty sure Dora goes on crazy adventures with a monkey because her mom is on Twitter.
@huntigula: [Jesus at Last Supper] *breaks bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there
@metafroth: If I could time travel I'd go to my funeral and take names of people who seemed to be handling it a little too well.
@MrsGoose69: Don't give a women flower, she may have hay fever. Don't give her chocolate, she may be on a diet! Give her wifi so there's no excuse.