@WilliamAder: First in my neighborhood to cut the grass and now the other husbands are looking at me like I reminded the teacher to assign homework.
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@dinokitten: *at adoption center* "Okay yeah they're all great and all, but which one is the most photogenic for Facebook and stuff like that"
@kimtopher22: I don't lock my car doors, so if someone wants to steal my egg mcmuffin wrappers, Sonic happy hour cups and 47 cents, they're welcome to it.
@LetMeStart: Me: I couldn't eat another thing. Narrator: Oh, she ate another thing. And then some.