@ZackBornstein: First Obama came for my guns. Then he came for my knives. Then he came for my dinette set. Then he redecorated the whole place. It's lovely.
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@HumanPog: one time i went to the bathroom and i didn't know my xbox headset was still on and the other gamers heard me give myself a pep talk
@Jacob_Swift16: I put a life-size alien doll in my passenger seat for halloween and I've caught myself talking to it 3 times
@jsteele3966: Day three of MAN COLD. I feel death lurking. Its waiting for me to give up. Stay strong! Think of the cat. He'll eat you if you die.
@ReeseButCallMeV: I taught my 1yo how to turn on my mother-in-law's dishwasher since she only uses it for storage.