@genehunter1: What kind of name for a storm is "Debby?" Hurricanes should have names like "Satan" No one should have their house destroyed by "Heather."

@Michael_Erhart: I think I can speak for everyone when I say that I am a ventriloquist.

@decentbirthday: Me: did you know that abbreviating names can be really confusing? GF: really? Me: yeah George Foreman: that's interesting

@WildeThingy: Boss "I'm looking for a volunteer." Me *chops off own legs "I can't!" Co-worker "I'm busy, sorry." Me "damn, that's a better excuse."

@NinjaFuneral: Someone outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that...