@Brianhopecomedy: Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I'm hoping that she's having an affair.

@JB1971_: Before I die I want to see a dog run out of a butchers shop with a string of sausages hanging out of its mouth.

@KenJennings: "This is the bomb!!!" --'90s terrorist

@OutOnTheMoors: Opposites don't always attract. I've met several sane and normal people and found nothing about them appealing.

@birbigs: What if Fox News is just an 18 year long infomercial for teeth whitener?