@AristotlesNZ: First rule of ADHD club: Never talk about..Nice hat. You ever own a hamster? I did. Died. Watch me do a cartwheel! Ok, who wants brownies?
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@GABBYdaAngSaya: God: You'll be cursed to travel the desert for 35 years Moses: *slipping him $20* How about 30 [Later] Moses: We must wander for 40 years
@UncleDuke1969: Someone is yelling! The voice is familiar... How they rave and they rant! Is it Jackman? Or, Laurie? Hefner or Grant? - Horton Hears a Hugh
@ShutUpThatsWho: [pirate ship capturing another ship] Pirate: Prepare to be bored! Other Captain: Don't you mean boarded? *pirate opens stamp collection*
@envydatropic: Friends don't let friends drive drunk but I don't want them staying at my house And that's why Uber was created