@aneesa_p: First rule of brown girl club: Don't wear pink & white striped shirts; you'll look like Neopolitan ice cream.
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@slimmy_shady: Getting a cat is SO much easier. Go outside. Put cat food out. Pet whatever comes to eat it. Best 30 raccoons I've ever had. Also rabies.
@beefman138: I have done about 300 crunches for my new exercise routine. 299 of them are Nestlé.
@OneTrickTofani: WATSON: do you even have a proper education? SHERLOCK: Elementary, my dear Watson WATSON: but, like, beyond that SHERLOCK: nah
@leechee420: I'm sorry sir, your wife didn't make it. Was it *sniff* the lack of prayers on Facebook? Yes sir, I'm afraid it was.