@JasonLastname: First rule of robbing banks is you have to shout, "THIS IS A ROBBERY!" Otherwise they might think it's a baptism.
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@caperbc75: "Can I help you find something?" I'm looking for the perfect diamond for my wife that says "sorry I cheated on you in your dream last nite"
@SarcasticAlly12: When friends or family ask me if I'm going to have another baby, I just gesture at the chaos of my life and yell, "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"
@chuuew: [planning heist] Me: We'll need the element of surprise. Neil deGrasse Tyson: [appears] Actually, such an element does not exist. Hi, I'm Ne
@dubstep4dads: i cant believe ashton kutcher made the apple computer and iphones. thank you ashton