@JasonLastname: First rule of robbing banks is you have to shout, "THIS IS A ROBBERY!" Otherwise they might think it's a baptism.
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@ayyyyloser: Someone just called for cleanup in the dairy aisle but I'm the only one here so I dropped the jug of milk I was holding and ran
@louisvirtel: You can always predict what antigay protesters will say. But never how they'll spell it.
@internetluke: Me (to a baby): Hush little baby don't say a word. Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird Mom: like hell I'll buy that kid anything..