@JasonLastname: First rule of robbing banks is you have to shout, "THIS IS A ROBBERY!" Otherwise they might think it's a baptism.
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@ahamedweinberg: 2015. Worse than the death of paper is the death of staplers. Rest in peace you sexy plastic alligators.
@GaryJanetti: Don't send an email if you're angry. Wait a while. Have a couple of drinks. Get yourself really worked up. And then send it.
@brokeymcpoverty: reasons white people riot: 1. their sports team wins 2. their sports team loses 3. no more tickle me elmos 4. tea 5. pumpkins
@caribbeanaj: Son: "Mom, Dad we need to talk.... I'm a vegan" **Mom cries running out the room Dad: Why can't you just have a normal eating disorder?