@JasonLastname: First rule of robbing banks is you have to shout, "THIS IS A ROBBERY!" Otherwise they might think it's a baptism.
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@craigrachel: The dogboner /Neil degrasse Tyson situation has been an elaborate ruse all so Michael hale could claim on gawker that he has a girlfriend
@VeroniKaboom: "He sure seems like a nice young man" is Grandma-speak for "I'd totally hit that."