@DickMarcs: “First time caller, long time listener”—Alexander Graham Bell
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@praisecheese: Me: I've invested heavily in hedgehog funds. You: I think you mean hedge funds. *opens door to roomful of hedgehogs* Me: Nope.
@LizHackett: It's 11:48 PM. You can't sleep. Underneath your bed, there's a creepy rustle, as the clown tries to quietly unwrap and eat a granola bar.
@Loli_Sug: Schools should teach kids how to balance a checkbook & basic car maintenance & how to hide a drinking problem. Regular life stuff ya know.