@VodkaThursday: First year my husband didn't give me some sort of sweet on our anniversary. I got roses. He thinks I'm fat. I know it.
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@Sickayduh: Hour 3: The group of hipsters has accepted me. However, the leader seems suspicious of the cinnamon roll man bun I taped on top of my head.
@Mr_Kapowski: With the ferocity that my 6 y/o daughter knocked on the bathroom door there was either a murderer in the house or a cat did something cute
@jake_lach: My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement