@amishschool: Fitness guru just tweeted "remember to breathe" and it was pure luck that I got the message in time.
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@ItsJusKimberly: [doorbell] 4: *opens door Hi, is your mom home? 4: she's in the tower mom: whispers from behind door "no no no it's SHOWER not tower!"
@Reverend_Scott: GOD: Done. ANGEL: What is it? GOD: A penguin. ANGEL: So it can fly, right? GOD: This one's a swimmin' bird. ANGEL: Dude... are you ok?
@AdamBroud: HER:I love Tolstoy's take on the human moral struggle ME:*Trying to impress* See I prefer Tolstoyee 3 where Woody was in the trash compactor