@jwoodham: FITNESS TIP: Set a regular gym schedule that's easy to keep up with. For example, I work out once every 4 years after I vote for president.
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@Dani_Feld: All I do is eat, drink, sleep and tweet. I'm basically just a more annoying version of a Tamagotchi.
@Book_Krazy: [interview] HIM: What are your strengths? ME: Well, I can see dead people. HIM: Wow, interesting. Any hobbies? ME: Grave digging
@SimonNRicketts: BIDEN: I'mma punch him when he comes here. OBAMA: No, Joe. Don't do that. BIDEN: Punch him round the back. OBAMA: Joe. BIDEN: Kick, then.
@ConanOBrien: I hate it when adults try to relate to youth using slang. Guess that’s what makes me a woke bae.