@JayUhOh: Five chickens leave Topeka traveling west at 25 mph. Please help me find them chickens. Those are my chickens.
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@ManicMouse: CW: what did you do to your hair today? Me: It's really unclear whether you think it's good or you think I slept in a ditch.
@remmarg_yelsel: With Instagram's new video function, we will now be able to hear the quacks from all the duck faces.
@Real_Dick_Head: When you wave your hand under automatic soap dispenser for 45 seconds and nothing, then it dispenses the minute you switch to the next one.
@hippieswordfish: THERAPIST: how do you feel ME: with my hands THERAPIST: no, like on the inside ME: ohhh...idk probably kinda squishy and weird