@JayUhOh: Five chickens leave Topeka traveling west at 25 mph. Please help me find them chickens. Those are my chickens.
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@zachreinert03: Saw a sticker that said "my son was an honor student". I almost got sad, but then I thought maybe he's not dead, maybe he's just stupid now
@IamEnidColeslaw: That awkward moment when I tried starting a slow clap in the hospital after my uncle died.
@DirtMcTurd: "You get a Bible! You get a Bible! You get a Bible! You all get Biibbbllleess!!!! ~Poprah
@Vodkantots: Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don't understand how weather works.