@MadamBetteNoire: Five out of six people enjoy Russian Roulette.
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@SoVeryBritish: How to answer the door: 1. See person has arrived 2. Wait for doorbell 3. Count to five 4. Open and act surprised
@Tmoney68: Stephen Hawking says artificial intelligence could destroy the human race. Sorry Stephen, but my money's on LACK of intelligence.
@carlyken: My favorite part of football is when players "look to God." Because He's all, "I can't do shit for the Middle East but I'm rooting for YOU."