@MadamBetteNoire: Five out of six people enjoy Russian Roulette.
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@Momfia: The only reason an IKEA kitchen will last you 25 years is because it takes 23 years to put it together
@genehunter1: After the delicious brownies have all been consumed following my funeral, a video of me will inform everyone that they just ate my ashes.
@rocknthepurple: Me: I could tell you, but I'd have to- Him: Kill me? hahaha Me: No, talk to you. And I don't wanna do that.