@ericsshadow: *flags down police car* how many mpg does this thing get?
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@Breadery: I want my hearse to have 'JUST DIED' written on the windshield with cans tied to the rear bumper.
@sarcasticmommy4: My teen was complaining he had no clean clothes so I asked him what he thought he should do: "Uh, go buy new clothes?" Have kids. It's fun.
@hot_coughy: When a woman says "I can't even tell you how upset I am right now" just wait 3 seconds.