@thetruealban: Flash floods in Arizona last night. We nominate California and Texas. #ALSIceBucketChallenge
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@ThingsDrakeDo: A shopping mall. Drake walks past a man dressed as Santa, who yells out, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" "Yeah," Drake sighs as he keeps walking. "She was."
@LaLuchaNix: [Pulling brother's life support plug] *whispers in ear* "This is for that time you cheated at Monopoly."
@PinkCamoTO: Helped a stranger at the gym write a break up text today so yeah, that English degree is really paying off.