@AlyT81: Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I've gotta go find my clothes.
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@danielvisme: I'm not staying up all night to get lucky. If it doesn't happen by midnight, I'm going to bed.
@Jay_FrickinLynn: I accidently opened the fitness app and my phone immediately called to report itself stolen.
@joejwest: DATE: I'm leaving ME: Why? D: You keep pretending to be a bat M: I don't D: You're doing it right now [a single tear rolls up my forehead]
@JanineEB4: My kids in public are direct payback for every time I shriek'd PLEASE DON'T HIT ME AGAIN at my mom in the middle of a crowded mall as a kid.