@BoogTweets: *Flicks cigarette after a long drag* Here's the thing. If Santa knows when kids are naughty or nice then he knew Rudolph was being bullied
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@TheFearBoners: I have to put reminders in my phone for everything or I'll forget it. Like 'pick up milk,' 'go to bank,' 'you don't hate minorities.'
@BadassBarbie11: The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it "Contains Peanuts" makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
@CodyJP9412: I don't always make pterodactyl noises, but when I do it's usually because I'm walking through a crowded aisle in Walmart.