@Lama911: Flight to Vegas...guy in front of me has a bouquet made up of dollar bills. Pro Tip: That stripper will never marry you bro.
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@fart: Q: Where is the safest place to be during an earthquake? A: a hot air balloon #JonsSafetyTips #Safety #safetyTip #EarthquakeSafetyFacts
@birbigs: if aliens show up and they're nice, we'll take them captive. and if they're mean, they'll take us captive. anyway, happy thanksgiving.
@StatusInBeirut: In the future: "So Zionists tried to take a people's home and said god gave it to them." "So what happened?" "Apparently god disagreed."