@Lama911: Flight to Vegas...guy in front of me has a bouquet made up of dollar bills. Pro Tip: That stripper will never marry you bro.
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@WhatTheFFacts: Boxer Sugar Ray dreamt of killing his opponent and backed out, but a priest convinced him to fight, he ended up killing the opponent.
@Home_Halfway: *KNOCK KNOCK* OPEN UP ITS THE POLICE "What do you want?" YOU'RE UNDER ARRES- "No." ..NO?? "No, I don't want to be." *whispers* Shit now what
@DanTaylorAuthor: Me: *gets in from fishing trip* Girlfriend: did you catch anything? Me: *sighs* just an old boot Girlfriend: okay, what's she called?