@Ivsy01: Flirt with him. Drop down and pick up your asthma inhaler. Look back, readjust your glasses.
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@animaldrumss: Publisher: Mike we can't accept your children's book. It's far too stupid for even the stupidest child. me: It was supposed to be for adults
@TheHatdog: *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms*
@psybermonkey: Wife: we argue a lot about money Therapist: well that's not uncommon among coupl- Me: Andrew Jackson was a genocidal murderer and should be taken off the twenty dollar bill. I am not budging on this, Diane.
@mjkspeaks: Told my kid that he had a viral infection and now he’s excited because he thinks he’s going to be famous online.