@Mickey_McCauley: Flirtation tip: glue a dead wasp to your hand before the date, then snatch at the air beside her head and show her the wasp. Say "close one"
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@dulcetry: I just want to be rich enough where I snap my fingers and 7 people fight over who gets to make me my next grilled cheese.
@squirrel74wkgn: Me (trying to impress my date): I'll have the garden fresh salad Drive-thru: Dressing? Me: Ummm, nope. Just sitting in my car