@Mickey_McCauley: Flirtation tip: glue a dead wasp to your hand before the date, then snatch at the air beside her head and show her the wasp. Say "close one"
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@ReneeHooray: Found out a guy I dated was in jail for attempted murder. He never even tried to take me camping, I'm not even good enough to kill.
@Gre_Gone: *caches football thrown from off screen* "Are you having problems with slow interne*video starts buffering*
@UGotMeRight: My boss says I need to work on my people skills & he needs to work on his changing four slashed tires skills.
@jensrmk: People always ask, would you rather be right or happy? I have always found I'm happiest when I'm right!