@JohnHilsen: Float like a jellyfish, sting like a jellyfish.
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@Cheeseboy22: New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
@Howiesbookclub: "Daddy, are we poor?" Compared to the vast majority of humans on earth? No. "Compared to my friends?" Oh yes, sweety. As the very dirt.
@oxygenplug: "yes I'm very good in bed" *folds blanket and neatly props up pillow* *pillow falls over* "Oh no, this doesn't normally happen I swear"
@InternetHippo: SUPERHERO: I alienate my loved ones to protect them from danger ME: Me too, that’s also my reason