@JohnHilsen: Float like a jellyfish, sting like a jellyfish.
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@thenoahkinsey: I peeled off the sticker that said "Don't consume alcohol while on medication." I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.
@Home_Halfway: I want to make medical bracelets that say "In case of emergency, delete browser history"
@tmoswole: To my English teachers who encouraged me to create magical works of literature as a boy. Here is my 3,007th Tweet. You can be proud.