@SomeChrisTweets: Foal me once, I have a baby horse. Foal me twice, no one needs this many baby horses. Foal me thrice, please stop. I have no room for them.
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@TheTweetOfGod: The Vatican just deleted all the Pope's tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church.
@noog: One time I made a snowman and gave him a cucumber nose. Carrot noses are the standard protocol but I'm what u would call a rebel.
@AudreyPorne: a horror film where the victim walks into her kitchen and everyone she's muted on twitter is standing there drinking coffee